Fragile

Why are we confused
We are fragile with our egg shell egos

Let go your simple ideas of life
We walk these terminal places

Simple smile from simple recognition
It isn't difficult to hear what you see

Pain take time
Love takes time

Time all we have in that second
We pass and meld away

It is easier than it is hard
I've done hard time

She was easy on my time
Only the seconds we walked the terminal

A smile is more valuable than I can make you understand

Children the Haiku

     You are all I am
This Universe needed you
      We are all we are

Competency Statement:

Dennis Morgan

Summer 2000

CONCENTRATION:  International Environmental Policy and Management

Proposal Writing/Program Evaluation

 I have been involved in planning for various non-governmental organizations witnessing an organization grow from 11 to over 200 staff members (total implementation budgets grew from $1,000,000 to over $40,000,000).

 I was directly involved with visits by the funders of the UMCOR’s Youth House and Outreach projects, UNOV’s volunteer project, and the Center for Nonviolent Conflict Resolution.

I was the lead person for the creation of a Youth House Project in Sanki Most (northwestern Bosnia) and developmental plans for Gorazda (Eastern Bosnia). From my experience in Zenica I was able to create budgets, schedules, and most importantly I designed the usage of the spaces.  With as many as fifteen activities taking place it was crucial to keep the space constantly in use.

 For two summers I supplied logistical support for the short-term volunteer program.  At peak times I averaged 600KM travel distance a day.  Through this process I was exposed to administrative task involved in large volunteer projects.  There was on average eight groups coming for two weeks throughout the summer.  At this time, the Sarajevo Airport was closed for civilian travel and the airport in Split, Croatia was used as the arrival point.  I, along with one other driver, was responsible for coordinating free time in Split for each group upon their arrival and departure.  We each drove a passenger van with an average of eight volunteers each.  During this time I had a perfect driving record driving on war ravaged roads and improvised United Nations supply roads.  I also had extensive exposure and coordination with UNPROFOR, IFOR, and SFOR (Peace Keeping Missions).  

I worked with the United Nations Office in Vienna volunteer group helping to create the Youth House project in Gornji Vakuf.  From the start I worked in the over-all UNOV project and as a subordinate to the local coordinator the Youth Club Project.

• I developed the multi-media aspects of the Youth Club 96 project leading to $15,000 in funding from the Sir Hailey Trust.
• I worked directly with USAiD to create objective evaluation models that lead directly to their funding of the club in Gornji Vakuf.
• I was part of the team in Bosnia, working with the United Methodist Committee on Relief, which identified the trend of local NGO creation.  The youth house projects were redeveloped to become local NGOs.
• I worked with the regional government in Serbia to create a funding proposal for LEAP (Local Environmental Action Plan).
• I attended United Nations Environmental Program’s first meeting with the local Nis government, after the NATO bombing campaign, as a representative of the local NGO community.  Eko Tim Nis was the only local organization invited. 
• The LEAP project was funded by the Regional Environmental Center for Eastern and Southern Europe located in Budapest.  We were one of the few organizations that submitted a final report after project completion.
• Our groups participation with ANPED’s (the northern alliance for sustainable development) Skill Share seminars on LA 21 lead directly to the creation of the project.
• Local Agenda 21 (from the first major UN Environmental Conference in Rio de Janeiro) campaign was coordination with ANPED (Northern Alliance for Sustainable Development).  I also attended their Annual General Meeting in Sophia, Bulgaria 1998.  Local Agenda involves bringing local government together with local NGOs.  In Eastern Europe there has been a shift of responsibility for the environment to local authorities.  LA 21 has been the method of choice for dealing with this transition.
• During my time there we registered three new local NGO’s in the city of Nis (registration process), coordination with local and regional government, participant in numerous workshops: woman’s issues, nonviolent communication, and NGO development.  Attended ANPED’s skill-share seminar – sharing NGO experience with NGO through out Europe and NIS.

·        Planning and logistical support for member participation in the EU’s first Environmental Ministers Conference in Arhus, Denmark 1999.

Conflict Management

• The UMCOR social services department developed into a conflict resolution program working with local institutions.  A staff member was hired from South Africa with a Masters in Conflict Resolution.  I worked closely with him to introduce the various programs within UMCOR.
• Conflict resolution skills gained through summer camp with mixed Moslem, Croatian and Serb youth lead by the new UMCOR conflict resolution specialist.  I provided logistical support as well as leading a daily video workshop with mixed youth.
• The UMCOR Youth house projects were designed to support the integration of displaced persons in to the urban field. 
• Services available in the city were generally not available to the displaced person, as they considered by most of the local residence as the largest problem within their life.  Discrimination was in most cases strong enough to discourage the displaced population’s hope of integration in the short-term.
• As an extension of the UMCOR Youth House, workers identified spaces within the collective centers that could be economically redeveloped as childcare centers.  Material excess from the general repair budget was used to create these spaces for children.  A project psychologist was hired to offer general counseling to youth and parents involved in eight different collective centers.  The childcare workers were refugees from within the center who also improved their skills through direct support of the project psychologist.  Special screening sessions were used to identify youth with more serious problems.  I provided logistical support and worked very close with project staff.
• I gained exposure to crisis refugee management including the building of a tent city after the fall of Srebrenica in July of 1995 and Zepa a week later.  During these times it was not uncommon for 10,000 refugees to arrive in a single night.  The war in Bosnia finished in November of 1995.
• The projects in Gornji Vakuf and Mostar, that I was involved in, dealt with sharply divided towns between Bosnian Croatians and Bosnian Muslims.  Our office in GV was located on the dividing line and we dealt with two distinct municipal governments in a town of 20,000.  Different forms of currency were used on the two sides.
•  Logistical support for members’ participation at the Pavorati Music Center opening in Mostar working with youth from both sides of the divided town.
• Secondary tasks involved coordination of activities with the Office for Security and Cooperation in Europe’s Jablinica and Mostar "round table" of youth oriented local organizations both Croatian and Moslem.

·        Participation at Civil Service International’s Balkan Task Force conference in Slovenia in 1997.

• Participation and logistical support at Pax Christi’s youth seminars throughout Bosnia and Herzegovina.  bringing mixed groups of youth together.

• I attended a weeklong interview process with the Balkan Peace Team in Holland. Eight candidates participate in workshops and “Long Role Playing” situations.  I was later rejected as a candidate due to my marriage to a Serbian woman.
• Our first daughter was born in Nis April 26, 1999.  I was the only American present in Nis during the NATO Bombing campaign (Working with the Center for Nonviolent Conflict Resolution).  I returned from Sarajevo the second day of the bombing began (international border crossing – avoidance of conflict).  I met with the Regional Secretary for the Global Board of Ministries March 23 (the reason for my trip to Sarajevo).  I witnessed first hand so called collateral damage when my wife’s grandfather was thrown out of bed and all his windows broken by the mistaken bombing of the apartment building across the street.  The hospital my daughter was born in was also mistakenly bombed the day before the Chinese Embassy was mistakenly bombed.  My daughter had been released the day before; I had taken my wife hours before to have her bandage changed for an infection she had received in the hospital.
• My work in Nis as an American involved dealing with a certain percentage of the population that believed International NGO workers were spies.  I crossed the Serbian border several times traveling to various seminars.  Each time I was held up a minimum of 30 minutes and forced to explain my situation.
• During the NATO Bombing campaign I was interrogated for over five hours by the Special Military Police.  Their main interest was my connections to a former American volunteer who had left the region the year before and my work within the Center for Nonviolent Conflict Resolution.
• Throughout the time I spent in the Former Yugoslavia I had to deal directly with refugee and displaced persons.  The majority of the Center’s members were refugees from other republics of the former Yugoslavia.

Managing Urban Diversity

• From March 1995 through December 1997 I worked with primarily Moslem and Croatian youth in Bosnia and Herzegovina.  These two groups were though harshly divided were part time allies against the Bosnian Serbian community.  The Republic of Bosnia represented a 94% majority Muslim population and the most integrated community in the Bosnia.  
• From January 1998 through September 1999 I worked primarily with Serbian Youth in the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.  The majority of youth I worked with were refugees from other republics of the former Yugoslavia.  Nis, Yugoslavia contained large Bulgarian and Roma minority populations.  I worked closely with a Roma teacher in forming an alternative educational space for Roma youth, who were generally excluded from the main stream society.
• In both these cases, I worked very close with a generation divided by war.  While I interacted with all age groups, it was the university student lifestyle that I witnessed more directly.  I traveled with several groups of refugees on trips to visit their old homes.  In most cases, it was not possible for them to return in the short term and most believed they would never return.

Ecology and Human Affairs

• From October 1997 through September 1999, I worked with Eko Tim (Tim is the Serbo-Croatian spelling for team) an environmental project working within the Center for Conflict Resolution in Nis Yugoslavia.
• In January 1998, I was involved in the initial planning stages of a Local Agenda 21 Program formed by Eko Tim.
• The development of this project was made possible by direct cooperation with the Northern Alliance for Sustainable Development (ANPED) and the Regional Environmental Center for Southern and Eastern Europe (REC).
• Substantial materials on Local Agenda 21 were provided in English and I filtered through key materials for translation into Serbian.
• Key planning factors for LA21 include the following:

·         Multi-sectoral engagement in the planning process through a local stakeholders group which serves as the coordination and policy body for preparing a long-term sustainable development action plan.

·         Consultation with community groups, NGOs, business, churches, government agencies, professional groups and unions in order to create a shared vision and to identify proposals and priorities for action.

·         Participatory assessment of local social, economic and environmental conditions and needs.

·         Participatory target-setting through negotiations among key stakeholders in order to achieve the vision and goals set forth in the action plan.

·         Monitoring and reporting procedures, including local indicators, to track progress and to allow participants to hold each other accountable to the action plan.[i]

• I participated in the creation and implementation of a river cleaning and free concert to celebrate June 5, 1998; the 8^th anniversary of the creation of LA21 at the first Earth Summit in Rio Dejanero in 1992.
• I worked closely with local and regional government officials, local and international NGO’s, faculty and students from the University in Nis, and six other key members of Eko Tim.
• I served as internet specialist for the project; a developmental web site apeared at www.myfreeoffice.com/cnrsnis/
• The NATO bombing campaign in 1999 severely delayed the work of Eko Tim
• After the bombing campaign, I was part of a delegation invited to meet with the United Nations Environmental Program’s Delegation.  Eko Tim was the only local organization asked to join their meeting with the local government.
• In creating a LA21 project the following priorities were set:

1. To address economic, social and ecological needs together 
2. To include a public outreach to inspire a vision for a sustainable future 
3. To include a participatory process with local residents 
4. To establish a Stakeholders Group, including government, academia, experts, NGOs and non-expert concerned parties 
5. To prepare a Local Environmental Action Plan (LEAP) for Nis with concrete long-term targets 
6. To prepare a feasible Action Plan in the short-term 
7. To establish an evaluation and reporting framework 
8. To establish indicators to monitor progress

• Currently I am registering Eko Tim in Cleveland as a sister organization and key members of Eko Tim are committed to continuing the work we started.

---

[i] Local Agenda 21 Survey - A Study of Responses by Local Authorities and their National and International Associations to Agenda 21. Prepared by International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives in Cooperation with United Nations Department for Policy Coordination and Sustainable Development. -February 1997- Retrieved from the World Wide Web http://www.ecouncil.ac.cr/rio/focus/report/english/la21_rep.htm

What Was Not Illusion

I once thought I had many great things
Then came a dream: none of it was to be mine
I knew not how this was to be only it was to be
I saw no reason why it was to be only it was to be

Then time took all the things I thought great
And what I saw in them was sadness
I am glad to see sadness leave; I did not know sadness
As I did not know happiness

I then saw a future that I could believe
To understand that I would understand
A vision from my past of a wish from my future
My ignorance trusted my wisdom
I wished I could be happier in the past
      I see myself happy in the future
I become happier through each present

Once I thought I had many great things
Then came the dream: none of it was to be mine
I walked away from everything I had and turned to look
Little remained; only what was not illusion

Time took great things, but nothing that was mine
I know not how or why only what is mine now:
      What was not illusion

Lake Erie Waters

The water is contained for now
In the wanning sun light the waves plow
I look over my field and sky
This crop of mine shall never die

I am farming the future now
Lake Eire waters showed me how
Content immense learning still
It says not long to the hill

This hill dreams of Lake Erie waters
And comes then goes never falters

Double Images and Strange Corners

We were shooting the bread line massacre. There had been several takes. We waited together as he tried a box full of ray bans someone brought him. As she left she took one last pass at the hair.

I had a pair of ray bans because I used to drive 600 kilometers a day over the Balkans. They were gone stolen in Dalmacia. 100 DEM Split UNPROFOR Base. There within my grasp 40 pair. As I day dreamed of those trees growing along the road as I circled; we were interrupted.

A very proud young man pointed to his car and informed us that he had driven his car the entire war. In one image amazing made it through all those hard times.

In another image he drove that car through the entire war and was now employed as was I to do something. We all waited on the corner. "Where did you get gas from?" We went back to our activities; we were uninterrupted.

I did not know, but was told. People carried furniture all day and night for food. On some strange corners people had gas to burn. There was no debate; he was found out and no longer proud.

It's a funny story I assure you, but has only begun. It's a moment in the real.

We were shooting the bread line massacre. The last scene I could do.

Made the trip to Trogir and the continuity person was the only person to notice. I still feel sorry I took that from her. Ran into them on the way to Macedonia at the airport in Split; where the casting director first invited me to a nicer part of Sarajevo then I knew existed. You'd be surprised what is wound in those hills.

Best part was being a featured extra. Got the good lunch. Had gas to burn.

Methodism

When I was younger I didn't really know what methodism is
Now as my little sister tells me I am old I have learned how the
church described itself

But I was lucky enough to have my family first show me what it is
If I could sum up Granny in a few words I would just say if
everybody in the world could find happiness the way she did there
wouldn't be any problems

The end was tough for her, but that was just because there are so many
unhappy people in the world

I remember spending time with her and grandpa and mom and dad 5 or 6
times we spent at different church members houses in bible study

You see one of the great things about methodism is debate is allowed.
She and Grandpa were there the 3 or 4 times at the administrative
board meetings that I got to be the youth representative

There are no few words for my Granny. I see that is very difficult to
understand what I am saying.

As I child I thought methodism was about a having a method. Being
organized, debating the fine detail.

To never hope for one specific thing, but to always be ready for anything.

I remember the way her poached eggs looked on toast when she somehow
cut it into 9 perfect squares. It was a long time in my life before I
saw something as beautiful.

Sometimes it seems like there aren't as many beautiful things anymore,
but today all I can feel is that life is beautiful and if everyone saw
things that way we wouldn't have any problems and the kingdom would
come.

In many ways I think there's more understanding between people
separated by a generation. We saw many things in similar ways.
I think it was the distance in our years that brought us so close as
the years have past.

She complained to me often about her life in the end, I just told her
I hoped to find half the happiness that she did in hers.

She has been planning this funeral since I was 2 years old. I am 36
years old today. She always told me she would die young like her
mother as long as I can remember.

It has been 34 years I will treasure every second of, and content to
have proved her wrong

I would just add for her a big thank you to those people here today
who were with us in those 8 or 10 meetings
I know more than one of you are here
and a few who probably had problems getting here
and a few that she has joined

I look forward to sharing the next 34 years hopefully with many of you
here today.

few words to describe Ellen Morgans Life : Jesus doing handsprings

National ACME

There has been some big news lately about billionaires donating money to charity. This must be a good thing. People who can have a real impact on the future of the world bringing their piles of money to bear on pressing problems. I mean really who is going to fight Malaria if not the Gates.

Saw a cover of fortune magazine recently about Bill convincing others to give away their money. Leads me down winding pathways in my mind. Wasn't Mr Gates sued not so long ago for his business practices. Well I guess they settled. Seems what we call wealthy people always settle. I know how he got his money. IBM was a bit slow as large corporation tend to be and we celebrated the Gates foundation fighting for those so less fortunate. Such a nice story no need to think of where the money came from; that was all settled.

But it leads me to think of another Bill, my grandfather Bill Morgan.

Leads me to think of Road Runner. Leads me to think of that coyote chasing that road runner. You remember if your my age and probably seen if your younger those cartoons. All those packages from ACME. See back then when they made those cartoons there was another company more important than Microsoft has been the better part of my life. National ACME was the miracle workers of those days and they were based right here in Cleveland.

Those packages came from them because it resonated that same way that the sound of WALL-E rebooting did a few years ago. Back in those cartoons there wasn't much reality. When we run off a cliff it doesn't really matter if we notice; we fall anyways. But everything has some reality involved. And in those cartoons there was just a touch of reality in the name stamped on all those packages.

Coyote called in his order; it was to the experimental department at ACME if you ever saw the cartoon you will agree. Who would answer the phone when he called in those crazy contraptions? It was my grandfather he would talk to and the miracle workers at National ACME. Extending the reality more than it perhaps deserves; there was only one mistake coyote made: he should have just told him he wanted to catch a roadrunner. But he never did.

He called and asked for the rocket propelled skates and they were dutifully delivered. Most people know the rest; it never worked to catch a roadrunner. But they always worked as designed.

This Bill had his greatest impact in turning compressed air into functional work. There hasn't been a factory on the planet in the last fifty years not impacted by his work. He never donated billions, because to him it was just his work function. He took his pension and twenty years spent his golden years in the bosom of his family and his church.

Today as China moves ahead they take basic technology discover by this one man who went to work and did his job. Some people make and some people take. My family has great riches so vast as to be uncountable. That is not to hold anything against Mr Gates, his have been well counted and acclaimed.

Do you know the sounds of the modern era? Our modern machine made era. Without compressed air there would be no Microsoft. If there were no would we be left undone. Some may say that the case, but there was PC Dos, Mac, Linux so many as to be uncountable in reality. But they won by winning and so it is.

Sometime History and the world bring everything to your door step. Sometimes you have a chance to take the world by the horns. Sometimes you have billions to fight Malaria in Africa. And so it is and so it is good.

Sometime History and the world bring everything to your door step. Sometimes you simply make the world a better place and move on. Not because your better, but because you value thing differently. You don't need to crush the competition to do good. You just go home at the end of the day and do good.

It takes all kinds I am sure, but some are more replaceable then others. I see these billionaires smiling as they swim through my history. I smile because they are only people and it is only money. I value things differently; that is my wealth.

Is Warren Buffet really the smartest man alive; if he failed tomorrow you wouldn't think so. Yet we are at a point were most believe this to be true. Whatever he does is perceived to be ahead of others. Why is this? Because that is what is perceived.

At the end of the day we need to count and be counted for our own reasons. The world doesn't need saving we do. There is only one truth and no man has a patent on it. What does any man need a billion dollar for? It not a question; they don't need it.

You say they create wealth, OK but don't they stifle something? Doesn't really matter because there is only one truth. Can you hear the air compressors across this planet? Shh, bshht, drshh, gooosh. What you gonna replace them with? I'm sure they'll figure something out and it will probably be created by a man like Bill Morgan.

You hear the sound your computer makes when it shuts down? Does it really matter. If there were no Bill Gates would we not have computers? If there where no air compressors there would be no China or Walmart. There is good and bad in all. It is other good impacts of one life that will never be able to number as those dollars they try to keep such good track of.

My grandfather never made a billion anything, but positive impacts in the world around him. Yea he was on the cover of magazines too. National ACME in the end was to slow to remain the miracle workers they once certainly were. It is a great lose, but we have not seen the end of their impact.

Maybe those billionaires will take lesson from a simple life that has lead to a certain crisis. What will the value of those dollars be? Never even close to the value of my Grandfather, but we have riches stored up through generations. We are not exceptional people only have we been so. The world is shared and the secret is out.

I applaud your effort Mr Gates and Buffet, but just question the sustainability of a world that gives you so many dollars. The glass is foggy, but certain things are clear.

Did you ever live an entire lifetime in a day?

Never enough and always too much these days we remember. Marked by Chilean Miners. One day I will have told the story of today to 100 friends.

Twenty years from know I will watch the movie of their triumph. There will be other stories then. Sometime poetry is too vague. Sometimes you just say my life come in circles and brings here blessings.

As if before a new long road at my feet. No; a new road at my feet I see not far. Clearly defined bridges burned. Sometimes things are out of your control. With logic everything is out of control. We are not responsible for our own birth. We are not responsible for our life. What use then Logic? You are not responsible for your birth,

It is a dead end and needs a new road before its door. Three minutes to midnight. Not yet a day. There is this old columned house where ghosts of the future reside. Only they are not ghosts they are us. It's a party.

There are these extra dimensions logic doesn't know about. They just can't be described because we haven't the words. Love. Integrity. Justice. Peace. War. Hunger. Sleep. These are some of the closest we have.

It's us against them. Forward the struggle. You don't see therefore you know you don't see. No; you believe there is nothing there logically.

It is a dead end the hyena chases me no more today. These truly old hormonal emotional non-logical systems.
I see therefore I am. Something from nothing to be sure.
Just what is it you call that?

We see what we want closer to us. We are our own limit. That is not a line of prose. We see what we want closer. Makes us more likely to get it and more likely to reproduce. We are all omnibus of our germ cells. They are truly hardy and venerable. We create our own sacred places. We are all strong Chilean Miners. We are all capable of great evil.

Maybe the question isn't why there is so much evil. Maybe it isn't even why logic leads us to dead ends. Then the question: why isn't there more evil?
We all know one thing logic hasn't a clue: evil never wins.
We're not all special. We told you generation X. These germs cells of ours have not a question, but the logic of life. Those extra dimensions we only dream of are utilitarian things all around us.

Your house plant knows more about quantum physics than any man alive.
Perhaps there is a future one of us. Perhaps this won't always be the case.

How far does this omnibus go? Further now for sure. But a pause at this station to note the day pass. All these worlds we find will never be enough. For those venerable 10,000 the logic for them was you and yes for this day. And 10,000 books would not tell the story of today.

Stay tuned

Red Blossom Sound

Transcend nothingness eternity each day
what did you say was the right way
she smiled as she walked the entire stay
It was her tears that made this great bay
Did you ever hear the story of her majesty?

The names of the dates and deeds leather bound
Excluding a billion that were left around
One sad eclipsing story of this sound
Red blossom sound was all that I found
Her majesty loved the colors of this great bay

Transcend nothingness eternity each day
What did you say was the right pay
She smiled as she forgot the entire stay
It was her tears that no one could say
We all have heard the story of her majesty

The names of dates and deeds leather bound
Red blossom sound was all that's around

Dennis Morgan UST200 Spring 2000

My family has a connection with the Northwest Territory dating back to the early 1700’s. The historical record of my fathers side of the family has been exhaustively documented by my great-aunt Barbara. The majority of the information I have comes from an eighty nine page document “Ancestors of Ellen Loretta Lucas,” (my grandmother). This document has over one thousand references documenting seven generation of my family’s history.
A large number on both sides of my family served in the revolutionary war. Luckily for me I also have a great-aunt on my mothers side with a keen interest in family history as well. In March 1779, John and Sarah Lowry consummated the first marriage in the Northwest Territory in which both persons were white, although married according to Indian ritual. It seems they spent an extended period of captivity with Mingo and Delaware Indians. Apparently they were hidden and not returned when one Col. Bouquet retrieved captives in 1764 after Pontiac’s war. Another relative, Anna Hite was the first woman MD graduated in Ohio. My family is a fairly mixed group, the earliest connection with the new world apparently being French Huguenots driven from France.
However, it was the latest arrival that firmly set my roots in Cleveland. James and Ellen Crellin (my great-great grandparents) came to south Collinwood from the Isle of Man sometime between 1904 and 1906. Very proud people, they were known simply as Mom and Dad for several generations of my family.
I traveled to the Isle of Man in 1998 and for myself satisfied the question of why they left. There is a display in the Museum in Douglas that presents the options faced by native Manx at the end of the 1800’s. At the time these options were limited to working in mines dealing with terrible conditions or trying subsistence farming dealing with long difficult winters on the windy isle. I traveled there in January and can attest to that harsh season. It wasn’t until the modern tourism industry bloomed that fortunes changed for the island natives. At the end of the display a choice was presented as it was faced; I certainly knew which choice I would make.
Christain Boyd's probate petition to Her Majesty's High Court of Justice of the Isle of Man, dated 28 March 1896, includes the Last Will and Testament of John Boyde (Ellen Crellin’s father). An Executor's Bond in the amount of 100 pounds is signed by James Crellin of the town of Douglas, laborer. They had moved from Ballaugh to Douglas were my great-grandmother Katie was born in 1899. Ellen worked as a servant in Ballaugh and James with the railway. If they were not planning to leave for America when they came to Douglas, they would be in the minority as this time represents a mass emigration from the Isle of Man.
My great-grandmother was baptized in September 1904 in Douglas. My great-aunt Elizabeth (Fairy) was born in Cleveland in January 1906. Emigration took place sometime between these dates. The next record of my family is from the Directory of Cleveland, 1915. James Crellin is listed as a green grocer at 15916 St. Clair Ave just up the street from five points in South Collinwood. Down the street my family began a relationship that continues today with Nottingham United Methodist Church. Unfortunately, all records of the 150 year old church were lost in a fire. My great-grandmother was the head cook during the peak of the railroad yards in Collinwood.
James and Ellen spent a brief stint in California during the depression working a chicken farm, but by that time my family had established itself on east 187th due to the earlier boom of the area. In the attached appendix there is a map of the area from 1903 before the south side of St. Clair (up from five points) was parceled. By 1912 most of the major landmarks of the neighborhood are present including South High School. A sizeable portion of land being owned by the Rockefellers suggests the level of interest in the area at the end of the 19th century.
Several Manx traditions are still present in my family. Probably due to the harsh winters, the Manx have taken great pride in the interior of their residence. A key to this being the mantle piece. After my trip to the Isle of Man, my grandmothers traditions took on a new significance to me. My great-grandfather Lucas arrived from Pennsylvania in Cleveland about five years after the Crellins and also settled in Nottingham Village working for the railroad.
My family developed a very close knit association around “Mom and Dad,” with several more houses around East 187th. My father, at age seven, actually believed he killed Grandpa Crellin after dropping a board on his foot. He died coincidentally in 1948 shortly after and the custom was not to talk specifics of death with children. The language was never passed down in the family as they certainly were interested in a break with the past and fully realizing their American Dream.
My grandparents moved out to Euclid after WWII and my grandfather worked with National ACME until retirement as the head of their experimental department. At the time the area near East 250th was completely undeveloped. My father graduated from CSU in 1964 and worked in computers for 30 years.

Svako Ima Zivot

Monday 10.5

Ana home from hospital 11:46
11:47 --> 12:20 Eating (Nursing)

Today I start this journal for mommy and Sara. Today Ana is officially released from the hospital. They came home on the sixth, but if the doctor had his way it would have been today. Lucky He didn't for NATO bombed the hospital on the seventh at the time when Ana and I would be walking around. Anyways this journal has started and we'll see how it develops!

12:20 --> 12:21 Sara Dreaming
12:21 --> 12:27 Dad burping (no burp)
12:27 --> 12:42 Sara sleeping
12:42 --> Our wonderful daughter enters her third week and seems to be sleeping once again after seeing mommy for a second

Rain Falls

When you watch it go down
And at the end of the ride
Things seem better left unsaid
The end of my conversation
And the beginning our discussion

Watch the rain fall
See the stars die
Turn off for awhile your light
And look awhile another?
Live the rain falls
There is no time to the end
Not yet here
The seeds have been scattered
So you pick your times
They have not need wasted

When glanced a second time
The first philosophies seem
to have forgot about they're
Children and their Children
Your mind grows up with your body
And together learn only end

The road has its own ideal road
For you to find if only half the time
For then it doesn't matter
You are there and it's ok
Nothing to maintain or defend
None of your worries of concern
No one to blame
Nothing and No one to fault
These times your way is straight

For when you are small the
heart holds your will to live
The brain and you intellect
they all talk about, can do nothing
for her will is gods love
The only perfection we have
Everything else is an adaptation

Simple

Simple is happy. Happy is simple. Complex is chaos. Chaos has order. Order is simple. Simple is happy.

When I came round it was still the war on poverty
Now for my children the war on terror

There is order poverty cold terror
Complex chaos builds institutions across generations

It was a war on relative poverty
It is a war on relative terror

We believed the cold war was important
We lost our threads of humanity

My grandma died in the cold war
They had to build weapons it was our priority

We now know the treatment that was required
They had time but were not given the resources

Order has priorities
There are new secrets every day

New research say people 50 are the happiest
Same research has no idea why

These are relative statistics
but there is no war in them

Poverty is there to guide us, not to go with to war
Terror to comfort, a simple hard truth

Simple is happy
happy simple

Lyndon wished war an answer
but war is fog chaos

Complex is chaos
Chaos has order, we make truth hard

Don't need to solve the problems of the world
The world we have

The jobs we don't want we can usually do the best
What we know best we always see the flaws

If we didn't see the flaws we are like so much locust
There are flaws in all our structures we only know and love so many

We have no idea what we are looking at most of the time
My guess is at 50 most people get some idea they do for awhile

We seem to peak
That is to be avoided and an order

In regards: Louis Moses Park

The story of Nottingham Village may end as a Village eaten by a city, but a light-rail transportation oriented development (TOD) integrated with railroad museums in Collinwood and Nottingham could be a new chapter.

A vibrant village and stronger neighborhood will make the city better. That is one of those answers up on the shelf gathering dust; Ohio City and the Warehouse district are example of history coming to life in Cleveland.

I believe there should be a park in honor of Louis Moses at St. Clair and Nottingham Road tied to a Main Street TOD.

Mr. Moses, the son of Mary Dille and Augustus Moses (a real estate pioneer), was one of the most successful and respected developers in Nottingham Village up through 1917. The City owns land along Euclid Creek and could use the initiative to help with phase III storm water control.

In 1912, Louis Moses served as the secretary for the Cuyahoga Park Board; among the first of four community leaders appointed. He was instrumental in the formal creation of the park system and specifically in the protection of the Euclid Creek Reservation, which he envisioned as much larger.

In 1917, Louis Moses bought stock in the Land Title Abstract and Trust company. By 1918, he was a member of the board; in 1919, he was president. In 1932, the name was changed to the Land Title Guarantee and Trust Company and it was the largest title insurance company in Ohio. Louis Moses would remain president until his death in 1952.

In 1917, with the passage of the Park District Act and creation of the Cleveland Metro parks Mr. Moses was one of the first three appointed to the board. Through 1928, he served as the Vice President of the board and was elected president in 1929; leaving in 1930 due to business pressures during the great depression. He later served again as Vice President from 1937 through 1939.

"It does not fall to the lot of many men to be present at the birth of an idea, to nurture that idea, and over many years to protect it and to guide it and give intelligent direction to its growth. Not many reap the satisfactions which come to one who realizes that he, thru sacrifices of time and effort, has made contributions which have made his community a better place for all citizens to live in. Such must have been the satisfaction which came to Louis A. Moses as viewed the progressive development of Cleveland Metropolitan Park System." 1

"Whereas, it was the good fortune of the community that in addition to his business acumen and the development of his own interests he was able to devote so much of his time to building up the great Metropolitan Park System. His expert knowledge of land values was of immeasurable benefit in laying out that park system. In his careful concern with the city’s needs he helped materially to build the network of parks into one of the country’s finest. The park system was only a portion of his interest, for he identified himself with all worthy movements that would advance this city towards its commercial and cultural objectives. Builders of vision such as Mr. Moses are too rare. His dedication has left in the Metropolitan Park System a lasting memorial." 2

Historical Preservation can be the vital tool to help this neighborhood of Cleveland. Nottingham’s future is connected with both North and South Collinwood as city planners currently divide the neighborhood. The division is a practical matter due to the freeway dividing the neighborhood and the key issue a TOD could address by creating a new focal point.

To the west is the historic five-point’s commercial district and to the east is the old world section of East 185th. Connecting the history and the historic neighborhoods offers a wealth of opportunity; all that is required is more research, desire and the will of the community.

1 Cleveland Metropolitan Park District, Cleveland Ohio. Resolution 2787 passed at the news of Louis Moses’ death in 1952.
2 Cleveland City Council, Resolution No. 668-52; April 9, 1952

Florida 1992

If I told you I never know fear
Would you introduce me to reality
If I told you I know fear too well
Would you introduce me to a dream

When I know my dreams up close
No sense that what couldn't be
Only the facts of existence apparent
Then life is like singing in a field alone

If my dreams don't come this night
It is harder still to remember last night
Only the facts of creation apparent
Then life is like swimming in clothing

When I meet my dreams up close
They never surprise me with possibility
Even today nothing surprise me with ease
Now life is like singing in an Ocean

My life my dreams flow together to peace
Singing in the ocean creation for its own sake

When ever I look for another world
I always find it in the Atlantic
Swimming there the name seems so much
I wonder what's the value in a wave

Thinking and dreaming of salt water not
Just salt water but Atlantic salt water
I am there in my soul in an instant
By car it is an hour away still

When ever I enter another world today
Swimming out from shore seems so important
I wonder what's the value in a wave
Swimming in to the shore seems so arbitrary
I wonder what's the value in a wave

Five thousand birds flew across my path
Walking to a place I needed to be
I stop and look up still they continue
In awe I'll search for an end in eternity

Each was one but none were greater
There place was new to only my eyes
How they knew so well to go I must share

Five thousand birds flew across my path
Not a day in a thousand does that occur to me
There seemed to be no thought to travel alone
All went forward and found time still for around

How they went in all directions and only forward

Five thousand birds flew across my path
I stop and look up and follow in my mind
There seemed no end no beginning just now
That last wings by like all will too fast

I hold a piece of divinity in me
It is where I started and too end
I feel it and never needed to see
Even when I'm not sure where I'll be

I could die in her arms of tomorrow
I see a hundred sunrises in her eyes
Two together that could have just passed

With a hundred possible lives to lead
Even then someone waits for me to win
Nothing is what I'll let slip through my hands

Storms I've created swell all around me
I'll rise through life everything is possible

By my last breath I will know that now
I will die and I know storms can't win
They are me and you are we

Guilded Cage

This moment in ink
A smile on a page
Forever in a pen stroke

And now down once more
As amazed as am I
Captured by this creature

Couldn't imagine that I
Why would it ever imagine I
There is no then here

There is no when here
This moment in ink
Time's guilded cage

That I could imagine
And yet never quite know

Life came along we can agree
But can you imagine
It's more than you know
Man and woman living and dead
Dancing evolution intermingled charm

And the atom's whimsical heart
There from the start
With this task of you
There was too much to do
You are amazing it's true

And so now your almost aware
Now with this task of yours
Here at the start once more
There is so much to do
Who would not like to quit

From there to here to there
There is no chance for us
We could not complete
And yet there it is
Where we shall be

To find the way
Imagine your surprise

How quiet is it
Soft as the morning sun
How loud is it
Harsh as the hurricane

Love love fifteen races long

Everybody's got to be real
Only way to know how to feel
No limit can be defined
Till the heart have you mined

Tree don't care who finds the shade
Don't care how you got it made
All this and more at hand
People finding all over the land

Comforted counseled but not done
The mystery will give you some

Traveling light being the idea
What is the proper weight
How long should I wait
Will this come along
A word it is to live

There's no history in love
And the same no future
Could you conceive
Life no day at a time
Well before you'd blink

I know a story
All about me and what I am
I tell you lend a hand

That's all there is to me
Everything I am

Love

Not hard
Or easy
Far
Or near

All
The way
To Go
Right here

Will
You feel
Love
As

If it were your own
To hold
And to lose

In your
Grasp
And
Through

Your fingers
Strain
And
Soul

Would smile
To
See
Or

Know what it
is
You
Hold

Even as
you lose

Limbs that catch the breeze
That whisper to my soul
Of all that could be
And everything we shall overcome

In wonder I first am lost
Then stranded upon certainty
To be lost again in reality
And I look to pay the cost

In a fine summer's day
Arriving from the cold
It was not long
Shall not be to long

To be found
And yet not find
To now listen
And yet not hear

Limbs catch that breeze
In whispers to my soul

Love

Would it come to me in a dream
Or upon her lips

Could it now be done with...
I see has just begun

You see I might be lost
I could even be wrong
And you know at times I'll be
But there's this one thing

I am standing in this field
Lost I'll be right here
Wrong I'll still be there
Found the field wouldn't mind at all

In love I stand

Love is in the arms
I am not saying that it makes sense
Just that it would be cool
If it did

"Know then," said he, "that existence is a theory." Etidorhpa

This is know as following the always so. ttc

Reason

Not a bad world
For a start
Not a bad day
To begin

Out of the door
Live around
Know what I say
Say what I may

Out of my mouth
Perhaps to your ears
Just to ease those fears
What's the worse

Came far along
If we lose
What waste of a universe
Maybe there's no sense

Why'd the world go to the trouble
Of need you and me together?

Simple Questions

I only really pray
To get through the day

The only reason I pray
Is to get through the day

The only real thing I pray
Is to get through the day

I am really me
I am here to be

I only really believe
To get through the day

The only reason I believe
Is to get through the day

The only real thing I know
Is to get through the day

There is simple wisdom I want to find
It is not the reason I write
I want to see it all written
What ever it may come I'd like to go
Find there is purpose in most everything

There is simple frustration I want to leave
It is not the reason I need
I want to see it all together
Where ever it may be I'd like to go
Find there is purpose in this to believe

I do not want to hold any form
That is not to simply break them all
There is more involved to be considered

Find one simple way to express
I don't want to be alone in here

Short Story: The Last Man on Earth

I have no doubt she would
Love me if I were the last man on earth

Bosnia Today

I will sleep in Bosnia
For I know where I am
And they talk of war
But where could that be

Is it that one small boy
Can he carry that load for me
Will it be all right
What do I know about war

It is strange that is all
I used to comprehend death some
It wasn't all that strange
But man it's weird

What do you say about war
There is nothing normal
Yet you would think it was

War has this sound
And there is this feel
How could it be real
Tell me it's a joke

I want to laugh
Don't want to cry
Tell me is the news bad
What have we ever had

This feeling will not go
It could be made up
If anything were unreal
Let this be the one

Love and pain is all the same
But what will you do then

War is here but
Who is there
Is there just one man
Just one more

Is that enough for death
Who are their friends
Where is their family
Do I know anyone

There's no war in me
Do you have so much
Why do you give it away
Well who would ever buy

Is there a child somewhere
Are toy soldiers so much fun

I found myself here
And you over-there
Are we so far away
Is it not one day

The sounds of war are clear
Here there is less confusion
Who wouldn't see the problems
It easy there to start

Don't listen over hear
I can't try over-there
I have this life I have
I don't understand war

But there is a simplicity
And I don't know any heros

Siren sounds so beautiful
Children won't you cry
And it's lovely to see
Which eye could be dry

Laughter and the thunder falls
Sorrow to the sun showers down
What could be done to the rain
Who will now take their pain

Further then you will go
Closer than you'd like to know

And in an end
There is no completion

Through Walls

Birth of life and days
Unaware they had involved
Look that should hold more to see
I have seen being displaced
Misunderstood

Of a photograph I return
Unaware all you had involved
Intentions that would hold more to see
I have seen being finite
Comprehension

Birth of life and days
I search fields of visions
Self they have designs
Self they would define
Infinity

Of a photograph I return
Aware that I involve
Looks that hold more to see
I have seen beyond distance
Eternal

Of a Yellow Sky

Painted in finger sails
Trails through yellow skies
I would find sleep
Underneath these eyes of you
What would I praise to be
In these currents frail
Female forms the softness curves
Winds upon the touch
Clutch mysteries entailed
Speech I can not find
Ripples through layers unfelt
Lost of an expression
meaningless
Painted in finger sails
Fails through yellow skies

The All Around

So much we hold of life
I can not know my all
These are not stories we tell
Creation is an antidote
Love is a joke

For laughter's all the time
Joy is the all around
And I find you funny
Silly secrets that you hold
It is your laughter that I love

Without

I Forgot what it was all about
For Certain I used to know
Maybe only slipped my mind
Could it be this that I have

All the works All the ways
I can think them all through
For certain is the mind
It could be this I have

I forgot what it was all about
For certain now I feel
Maybe only lost my mind
Should it be this I have

All those ways All those works
I feel them all through me
For certain is this soul
It would be this that I have

The Last Sun Set

The world is cold in this winter
And under a black sky
Time frozen over all around
Awaken in the soundest sleep

The Extravagant Giant lumbers forth
To the smallest cares slumber
In the largest strides covering oceans
That something is not nothing

A frozen picture of that motion
Comes swirling above the surface
In chase when the sun did rise
Stiffens to the touch frozen time

On out of a million quiet places
The songs to the last sun set
Arise to the attention of one
The Extravagant Giant lumbers forth

Time frozen for a sweet slumber
Awaken the most important something

Friendly Little Words

Have you read many answers
For I can't write any
Once I thought I could
Perhaps only I should

I've never read any answers
I don't think it works
Only questions are ever written
In even the greatest literature

Perfect language forms perfect questions
Words might whisper answers
But I have never caught any
I read and write all night

And the sunrise has an answer
More than any words
Not any friend is all there is
Anymore than I ever was

Hope you read many things
Keep them well and know them better

Dream Telephones

I had this amazing dream last night
You were all there everywhere
I saw all those things I know about
Comfortably next to nothing I've seen
Just the way I felt them to be

I tried to explain it to a few
And I heard the words of my dream
They could sketch incomplete
So I put them back in my dream
It was complete and continues...

I have an amazing dream
There are no words for the way she smiles
No story of how she sat with me
They have a taste at the tip of my tongue
With an expanding pressure upon my chest
Deep coming up to the surface to breath

It is when the night wakes me
And what the sight brings me
They do not speak to me in words
But encode on my flesh and spirit
There are ideas I have and things I know

Phones don't work the way you'd think in my dream
I can tell you everything that happens but
There are no words for everything that happens

J. D. Grows up

"Hide not thy tears on the last day
Your sorrow has no shame;
To march no more midst lines of gray;
No longer play the game.
Four years have passed in joyful ways - Wouldst stay those old times dear?
Then cherish now these fleeting days,
The few while you are here." JD Salinger

He stays young no more
Or is it only no longer crazed

Not sure why they remember Holden
I thank you for the dream of Jane

Into the More

I'm not sure I can write more
Words will not form
There is so much said
For the little to hear

Into this pollution joined
Not one even knew
What is the anything more
Where could it be found

There's a quality in your quantity
Upon a false quantum ridge
As true as it is false
As here as it is gone

I'm sure I can write some more
Words they still form
There is so much to say
For enough to be heard

I will tell you my more
Or I wouldn't have said a word

How Do You Make An Ocean?

The latest thinking is 4.5 billion years ago there was an Earth, but no Oceans. The water mostly arrived in rocks. Out there floating around what was our earth these wet rocks that looked dry. This dry planet turned green ocean world in a blink of an eye.

Just time and these microscopic specks of water trapped inside rocks floating around a yellow sun. You see the process isn't import just the fact that you create an Ocean in the end. Why make an Ocean? Why make a positive impact on life? There wasn't anything better to do. There isn't anything better to do.

This process makes me very optimistic today. A Cold sunny day on a North Coast. Some believe evolution as an explanation. It is this process. Those who find it hard to accept value other things more. They value their own peace in believing a design that needs no other explanation.

The left and right divide is just a simple bell curve of how we value. When your priorities are different from another: the world is seen from different places. Ask any new born. The world is brighter than we are lead to believe. We try to make sense and peace for the most part thank God. We are very sturdy things and we gird our loins and move forward. The new now is already old.

Think of those 4.5 billion years. Think of those 13.7 billion years. We are made from sturdy things. If you believe in God, know no process is beyond conception. In comparison to what we tell ourselves reality is more optimistic. At this point of History draining the Oceans with a tea-spoon would be a rather straight forward task aside from where to put the water. We got most of everything figured out for us.

You don't need to make oceans...they are made everyday in this universe we share.

Every Way Complete

Love is easy
When pain is fine
Nothing can be taken
When everything you give

There's nothing to deny her
no time to waste alone
Nothing will always find you
Give you less to lose

No one ever tells you
In every way complete
Something to believe in
The chances you can know

Love will find you easy
When pain is fine
nothing can be taken
Everything you give

No words can teach you
In every way complete

The Everyday Way

Everyday you've got a reason to live
Every way there's something more you can give
There's more to you than you can know
So many ways for us to grow

Everyday you've got a reason to strive
Every way there's somehow more to drive
Throughout yourself as we go
Into me through all of we to know

Everyday you've got love to live
Every way there's still more you can give
There's more to it than I can know
So many ways for us to show

Everyday we've got a reason to live
Every way there's something more to give
There's more to we than we can know
So many ways for love to grow

Everyday I've got love to live
Every way there's still more I can give